Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
