lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
