it wasn't lemon gatorade
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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