i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
