After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
