dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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