If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
