He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
