Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
