I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
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I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
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As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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