just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
