Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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