And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
