Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize