I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you traded sex for a burrito?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
