I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
