he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
