if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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