If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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