i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
