My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Randomize
