Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
