All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
