you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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