I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
