The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
