its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The ass gains better be worth it
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