Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
