i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
