so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
