left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
