Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
