he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
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