I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
