apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
