I molested 6 butterflies tonight
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
