LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
