Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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