i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
