I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
