you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
