You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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