She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
