Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
