I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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