I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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