I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
