my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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