I am spending my child support on dildos
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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