Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
