I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
