hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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