I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
dude i'm inner monologue high
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
