$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
