Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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