I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
