38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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