I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
