Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize