KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
