I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
