I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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