you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
