it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
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He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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