i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
